Pen, Paper, One in the Chamber (Feat. Jake Lozada)

by Summer Fell To Fall

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"Pen, Paper, One in the Chamber" was inspired by my personal experience with depression and suicidal thoughts along with the loss of a friend who took his own life. Our song is an outreach and our mission is to help bring awareness. Everyday someone takes their own life and we hope this song can change that. We understand that depression cannot be avoided and eliminated completely, but we can at least give hope to people that have struggled or are struggling like I did.


"Dear comrade, my heart is an hour glass and my life is a grain of sand. I feel like dying. I'm lying in this trench drowning in the tears that I've been crying. My rifle is telling me how I am feeling and with time wasting I'm having a hard time not believing it's words. My mind is screaming 'suicide is your only hope'. I am left holding onto a tightly tied rope as I choke on the smoke that surrounds my surroundings. I'm barely breathing. I'm running out of options. My heart is full of doubt and I don't think I'll make it out of the crossfire alive. My coordinate cross behind enemy lines. I've been ambushed from every side. I think now is the time my own bullets became the reason I died sincerely, a brother in arms."

I'll be right beside you.

"I know exactly what you are going through, you feel like your life isn't worth pressing through cause you feel like the whole world is against you. We have a long journey home, but I won't let you fight this journey alone. I'll fight day and night right beside you and nothing can or will change my mind. I will keep you company until we walk with our rifles pointing towards the sky blazing while screaming we made it."

"This mission seems impossible. I'm left lost with nothing but anxiety and an anxious trigger finger and plenty of ammunition. North, east, south and west my compass points towards putting the ticking heart within my chest to rest. It's getting harder to keep my head up and with one in the chamber I can take the weight off. I understand you used to contemplate suicide so with my rifle to my chin what did you do to change your mind."

"I stood my ground, but I know it's hard when everyone wants to bury you beneath it. It takes time and I'll be right beside you until I have none left just to save your life. We made it this far. We can make it out alive. As I sit here with nothing but pen and paper and as you contemplate your life with one in the chamber I say to you dodge the bullets. Everyone's mouth is loaded and they don't know how to put the safety on. So here I stand saying stand strong and soldier on because I can't handle losing another sincerely, your answer."

I'll be right beside you.
I'll be right beside you.

I feel so alone.
I feel so alone.

I can't go back home I feel so alone. Please save my life. I'm running out of time.
(Just remember you're not alone.)
I can't go back home I feel so alone. Please save my life. I'm running out of time.
(Just remember you're not alone.)

I'll be right beside you.
(I'll be right beside you.)
(I'll be right be side you.)

I feel alone.
I'll be right beside you.
Just remember you're not alone.
I'll be right beside you.


released September 25, 2015
Piano/Vocals: AreJay Anthony
Guest Vocals: Jake Lozada
Lead Guitar: Justus Gash
Bass: Lanny Wilson
Drums: Dan Anthony
Producer: Steven Myers
Mastering: Urei Tropets (Sherret Studios)



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Summer Fell to Fall Portland, Oregon

"Summer Fell To Fall" is an indie/rock band embodying a simple taste of drums, guitar, bass, and vocals. We love music and to perform because its a delectation we all share.

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